“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25  

Hi friend! As Sisters in Christ, we need constant reassurance of our identity in Christ and our great worth in our Heavenly Father’s eyes, don’t we? I know I certainly do!

Even when we’ve been walking with Jesus for a while, certain triggers, particularly those of rejection, can still catch us off guard. I still find myself self protecting at times because I forget that the One Who fights for me will never reject me. Ever! I’m so thankful Jesus led me to begin writing because it opened up a completely new way to draw closer to Him, to contemplate and process so much of life and our worth in Him. 

In 2016, the Lord led my beautiful Christian friend and coworker Deb, to begin speaking over me that I would be writing for Him. Prior to this, I was an artist and never saw myself writing. But despite my protests, my sassy friend just kept speaking it over me. That summer, I found myself medically retired from my civil service job and the Lord had me give serious thought to Deb’s words. He then led me to launch Fresh Grace for Today in August 2017.  

During this time, God also used the words of a character from the tv show, This is Us, as a catalyst for me to come face to face with some serious pain from my past that I never dealt with. When Randall found himself speaking to his deceased adoptive father (Jack) in a vision, he desperately cried out: “I spent my life striving for perfection because I live in fear that if I let up for one moment, I will remember that I am unwanted. And then what will happen to me?”

Despite the truth that Randall had loving adoptive parents, he struggled to get past the facts of how his biological parents didn’t want to keep him. And Randall’s words … oh my gosh!!! His words, and the emotions behind them, were the trigger of all triggers!

I didn’t realize that I wrestled with this same disconnect. The truth is I am chosen, wanted and adopted by the King of the universe, whose abiding love is beyond anything I’ve ever known. But, like Randall, my identity was still trapped in the facts of deep rejection from my past.

Randall’s words and emotions set off a painful trigger within me, one used by God to begin the process of dismantling decades of rejection to bring deep healing for the impact it had on me. I needed courage to be more genuine when I write so others can find hope in Christ, too. But for this to happen, my fear of rejection and my people pleasing habits needed to come to an end.  

I’d already spent too many years burying the pain in hopes of reconciliation. 

Listen to this beautiful quote from Lysa TerKeurst: “Whether or not reconciliation happens, your redemption story is dependent on God alone.”

I have come a long way and I realize now that this process was very much needed if God is going to be able to use me to help others.

So my backstory is where I will begin here today …

Not knowing how to ask Jesus for help, I battled so much fear and anxiety for decades. I had the same, scary nightmare over and over, of being buried alive, screaming for help and banging my fists on the lid of the coffin above me but no one could see or hear me.

During the day, staying busy was my coping mechanism to keep from having too much time to sit with my thoughts where the enemy kept reminding me of my worthlessness. 

I struggled with anorexia, which began in my teens when I was made to step on the scale every morning. But no matter how many dinners I missed with family or whether I deprived myself of food for days at a time, it was never enough and my weight was never acceptable.  

There was always an unrelenting focus on my need to change my outward self or behavior before I could earn approval or even a visit, which never came. As far back as I can remember, I do not have one single memory where my inner thoughts and feelings were accepted and not rejected, whether I spoke them or wrote them in my private diary, which I found many times in a messy heap on my bedroom floor after someone angrily fired it against the wall.

I carried this intense shame about myself and the anorexia became a twisted way to feel like I had some sense of control in the midst of a life that felt out of control. I was more superficially concerned about the size of my jeans than discovering God’s love and purpose for me. For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my feelings except to invalidate and swallow them.  

I had a very unhealthy fear of failing and disappointing people so I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform because I believed I had nothing else to offer. Even to God …

But then Jesus led me to surrender everything I thought I wasn’t and didn’t have to offer so I could begin to take hold of everything I am and do possess in Him. Even now, it’s been an ongoing process to fully grasp and know my true identity in Christ.

But I do know this … After I was saved, the nightmares of being buried alive never returned. One of the first Names of God that He revealed to me is found in the story of Hagar in Genesis 16:1-14. I discovered that He is El Roi, the God Who sees me. In God’s kindness, He wanted me to know immediately that He had seen and heard me the entire time and continues to now!

Then, God fixed my distorted view of Who He is and how He sees me …  

At one time, I struggled to accept God as my loving Heavenly Father because, in my experience, father figures made me feel really bad about myself. They denied all of their hateful words and behavior towards me and then laughed at the confusion and pain this caused. But after being disowned, God brought a Christian Counselor friend into my life who helped me to stop my self destructive way of processing this very toxic behavior. I discovered there is no shame in needing help and the dynamics I was caught up in for decades is called gaslighting. 

God’s love for us is unconditional and based on Who He is, a good Father, and not on what we do or don’t do. God cannot lie and never seeks to control or manipulate us. He can never be compared to any human being on earth. We are all imperfect but He alone is divinely perfect. 

God has taught me to recognize and respond to destructive behavior patterns instead of allowing them to escalate into extreme displays of disrespect towards my hubby and me, then flippantly denied later. Because by this point, I’m no longer responding, I’m reacting and I don’t like who I become in those moments. But with God’s help, I will never again allow myself to be narcissistic supply, where someone makes sport of ensnaring me in their web of altered reality and I begin to doubt their treatment of me, my self worth and my mental health.  

God led me to begin seeing myself through His filter of love, truth and acceptance rather than through my old filter of rejection. Today, He is leading me to share part of my story without the old familiar fear of punishment or rejection if I don’t remain silent. The enemy is spitting mad right now and only he could ever lead people to reject us for finally having courage to step out of the darkness and into God’s beautiful, healing light.

I pray my words will help somebody today …

People are created beings and their opinions, criticism and rejection do not define you!

Our Heavenly Father created us and He is the only One who has the right to define us. His gentle leadings and convictions will always bring us closer to healing, wholeness and restoration. 

I hope you will allow me to ask you this question today …

Has someone in this world broken your heart and left you feeling worthless in their eyes?

In childhood, did a parent pack their suitcase and walk out of your life? Or have you been striving so long to save your marriage, but your spouse walked out anyways, taking your dignity with them? Maybe a beloved friend, one you held a very tender spot for because you understood her fear of rejection, is now casually justifying her rejection of you to a mutual friend. Or perhaps, like me, you know your deep and abiding love for your own children and cannot begin to fathom how you could possibly be your earthly father’s real daughter? 

Can I just pause right now to say this is NOT the heart of our Heavenly Father for you …

We don’t need to wonder from day to day if God truly loves us. We don’t need to be afraid to approach Him, wondering if He’s going to explode in anger one day and then deny it the next. God’s love is unconditional. He does not offer us a worldly, conditional love based on our looks or our ability to meet unrealistic expectations. He says our great worth is found in the simple truth that He created us in His very own image and we exist to experience the mutual joy of being in a loving relationship with Him through Christ. 

We can grow to know who we are in Christ and His gentle voice is the only one we will ever need to listen to and follow. And when our heavenly Father gives a nod in our direction, that is all the approval we will ever need!  

In Christ …

• • We are blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Eph 1:3
  • We are chosen by our Heavenly Father. Eph 1:4-5
  • We are accepted by God and a recipient of His grace. Eph 1:6
  • We are completely redeemed and forgiven in Christ. Eph 1:7
  • We have a wonderful inheritance in Christ. Eph 1:11
  • We are sealed by the Holy Spirit who guarantees our inheritance! Eph 1:13-14
  • We have the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so we can know Christ better. Eph 1:15-18
  • The same power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms lives in us. Eph 1:19-21

In Christ, you are blessed, loved, accepted, forgiven, chosen, and redeemed. You do not have to hustle for your worth ever again! Your Heavenly Father wants you to rest in His love and not strive for the acceptance that is already yours in Christ.

And if you have not yet given your heart to Christ, please hear His heart for you …

Even before God laid the foundations of this world, He predetermined to choose you, yes YOU, to be adopted as His son or daughter in Christ (Eph 1:4-5). That’s how much you are loved! There is nothing you could have ever done and no sin too great that can ever separate you from the love of your Creator. If God could take this girl here, who was not only severely messed up at one time but also the lowliest of sinners, and transform her into someone completely brand new … than He can do this for anyone! He loves YOU, my friend!

To grow in your knowledge of Who God is and who He says you are, begin to dig deep into His Word as if it were the most priceless treasure you could ever unearth in this world. Because it is! The Gospel of John is a good place to start because this is where the Lord led me to begin many years ago. Take notice of every time Jesus used the word Father when referring to God and when John referred to himself as the Disciple that Jesus loves. My friend, this is the heartbeat of our Heavenly Father for you, no matter where you are today.

And Proverbs 31:25 is a beautiful verse to memorize and store in your heart. In Christ, you are clothed with strength and dignity, never shame and condemnation. As the Son or Daughter of the most high God, you can relax and enjoy your life today without fear of what tomorrow holds. Because, as a born again Believer, your future is secure in the hands of your loving Creator.

God will NEVER reject YOU …

What is your story? Do you know your identity in Christ?

I pray the remaining pages of your story will be one of beauty for ashes and wholeness instead of brokenness. If you woke up this morning with His breath in your lungs, then God is not finished writing your story. And if you let Him, you will discover like I did the truth of Gen 50:20 when Joseph spoke these beautiful words to family members who deeply hurt him:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (NIV).

This right here is sweet redemption, my friend! God will not only redeem us from the pit but, through our obedience, He can also redeem our story by using every part of it to bring others into the saving knowledge of Himself. This is right where God has me in this season. I pray God will bring loving and godly friends into your life who will always point you to Christ and remind you of your incredible worth in Him! 

Please contact Susan or myself if you need someone to pray with you! We hope you will come to fully understand and walk out your incredible worth and your identity in Christ.

Blessings,