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CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FROM THE LORD;
THEY ARE A REAL BLESSING.
PSALM 127:3 ❤ (Verse in Bible Hub)

We All Have Mile Markers in our Lives

You know those moments. They are like remembrance stones. When we look back, we just KNOW in those moments, our eternal God stepped into time and changed the course of our lives.

People remember all kinds of dates … birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Well, there’s a day that will forever be etched in my heart. The day when God stepped into my broken world and kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life.

God prevented me from making it to my appointment to abort my baby.

I remember a few of my well meaning friends promising me they would support me through the process. We were told it was not really a baby yet because I was not far enough along, and this would be a quick and painless procedure, but I had to move quickly. I asked for the day off. I had the money saved, the appointment set, and a ride to the clinic and back.

My mother was not able to help me. She didn’t suggest the abortion, but said an adoptive mother would do a much better job than me because I could never give the baby the love it needed. She also reminded me her job of raising kids was finished and she would never be available to watch any of my children.

The enemy wanted me to hurry and get this over with. He kept trying to smother and re-smother me with the same pain, shame and hopelessness that was already bottled up inside of me. And he almost succeeded since I didn’t know any better but to come into agreement with him.

Many voices drowned out the whispers from God … until the night before the scheduled procedure.

God stepped into my World

I had went for a long walk after dinner. I usually went with a friend, but on this particularly chilly February evening, I went by myself since she had to work mid-shift on the inpatient ward.

Not realizing it at the time, but God was setting me up to be alone with Him.

Up to that point, I was listening to many other voices, but not His.

As I walked, I asked God if He could hear me. Nobody was around to see me cry as I sent up desperate pleas for God to show up NOW if He was real.

I began to cramp so I turned around and headed back. In the bathroom, I discovered I was bleeding. A friend took me to the ER and they began the process of admitting me overnight. I knew the people since I worked in this hospital, and I protested. And that was when I began to violently vomit all over the floor. Needless to say, they refused to argue with me and I found myself on my back in a hospital bed, physically and emotionally exhausted.

I woke up the next morning hooked up to a machine with an IV drip in my arm. I laid there in the silence, watching the sunlight filtering through the blinds.

A friend from the lab came in to draw some blood. Her eyes bloodshot from working all night, she smiled warmly at me as I shared with her that I was going to miss my appointment. She told me that she had an abortion a few years back and regretted it with all her heart. She said she wasn’t going to tell me what was right for me, but she wished she hadn’t gone through with it herself. I remember just quietly staring up at her face as she continued to draw my blood.

Then my supervisor, Ssgt Hale, came in to see how I was doing. I was one of his new troops at the time. I’d like to say he gave me one of those good ‘talks’, you know what I mean? But instead, it was even better.

He gave me a “God talk” and prayed over me.

He understood how scared I was. But He wanted me to know I was not alone. God loved both me and my baby and would never leave us. He showed me so much grace and acceptance and never shamed me. His wife just gave birth to their baby boy who brought so much joy into their lives. After offering to help me any way they could, he asked me to please not reschedule the abortion.

God’s Peace flooded me 

He left my room and I laid there in the silence again. Except this time, there was a peace that began to settle over me. I looked up at the clock and realized it was already a few minutes past the time my appointment was supposed to begin at the abortion clinic. My eyes teared up and I told God I was sorry.

Instead of feeling the usual shame and condemnation that I felt about everything else, I felt His peace wash over me. And for the first time, I felt some of the desperation subside and a new hope begin to stir inside of me. 

Ssgt Hale and his wife invited me to their church where the worship and message really spoke to my heart.

We had wondered through the years if we should share my story with our daughter. My hubby and I decided it would just hurt for her to know I had ever considered it. So we decided to never bring it up.

[bctt tweet=”Motherhood is a beautiful partnership with God. You were never meant to shoulder this by yourself. ” username=”https://twitter.com/Living_Loved_”]

The enemy still tried to condemn

Fast forward to October of 2016. the Lord was just beginning to drop in my spirit to write and blog for Him. This is how the enemy works, y’all. While visiting our daughter that Fall, we discovered that back when she was in high school, she had found a letter I had written to her father when I was nineteen. In it I wrote about planning for the abortion. She spent almost 17 years keeping it to herself, and you know when we keep something hidden, the enemy reigns in the darkness.

He worked on her through the years and made her feel unloved and unwanted.

I don’t even remember writing this particular letter, but for many months afterwards, the enemy worked overtime on me and I felt so much grief for what my daughter went through. A couple of friends in Bible Study helped pray me through.

In addition to the regret I felt, the enemy kept whispering to me that I had nothing worth writing about for God. So I stopped dreaming about that.

When I finally came out of this season of attack from the enemy, the Lord reminded me of something very obvious.

I didn’t actually go through with the abortion!

Amazing how much confusion condemnation brings. God wasn’t holding anything against me for having thought of the abortion and wanted me to be kinder to my younger self. Because I invited Him into my mess and was willing to follow His lead, I untied His hands to show me that HIS plan is and will always be greater than anything I could ever come up with.

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Glory belongs to God, whose power is at work in us. By this
power He can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.
Ephesians 3:20 (Verse on Bible Hub)

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God works ALL things out for the good of those who love Him. What the enemy meant for harm, God will redeem and bring so much good. I can’t begin to fathom what my daughter felt when she realized what she had survived. But now she knows deep in her soul that God stepped in and saved her life and He has great plans for her. I don’t know if the Lord will have her be a voice to advocate for unborn babies from the viewpoint of a survivor, but the enemy will be sorry he ever messed with her.

I am trusting God’s plans for her future.

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And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of
those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28 NLT (Verse on Bible Hub)

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If you are considering abortion …

If you are reading this and considering abortion as your only way out, please hear my heart. God sees you and your baby. You both are not alone. The enemy wants to flood us with panic, desperation and hopelessness.

God knows you are hurting and He wants you to trust Him. Please let Him walk with you through this, even if you don’t yet understand what that will look like. 

Life begins at conception and every single life matters to God.

I don’t know what circumstances surround you right now, and I am sensitive to the hardships we can endure.

And I do know what it’s like to feel hard pressed to make a decision in the midst of crippling fear.

Please read the following promises from the heart of your Heavenly Father.

Yes, these verses are for YOU, sweet lady. 

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“Don’t be afraid, for I AM with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I AM your God. I will
strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with My victorious right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 (Verse on Bible Hub)

❤

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will
call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek
Me and find Me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (Passage on Bible Gateway)

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Remembering God’s presence and His promises always strengthens my heart and it will yours, also. Please know that you are not alone. God is with you. Don’t let the voices in the world tell you what is right and wrong. Please fight for your baby’s life. If you don’t, who will? God is asking you to please choose life right now and He will help you get to the other side, whether that is to provide for you to raise the child or to help find a loving home for him or her. 

I would love to encourage any Mom reading this …

If there is something valuable I learned about the enemy through this, he will stop at absolutely NOTHING to condemn us. Not just with things we know we are already forgiven for. BUT EVEN THE THINGS WE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO!

As mothers, we get tired and overwhelmed sometimes and then he condemns us for our thoughts and feelings, am I right? 

Thoughts and feelings (in themselves) don’t make you a bad mother.

Struggling with anxiety or depression, like I did, doesn’t disqualify you.

Please take care of yourself by rejecting the enemy’s lies every single time he tries to descend that heavy blanket of condemnation over the top of you. It’s so much harder to recover when we accept the enemy’s lies on top of everything else we are managing.

Turn to God always and let His grace be the only cup you drink from, not just during the hard times. Do not try to be strong in your own strength because the enemy will take every advantage to topple guilt, blame, condemnation and regret on top of everything else you are trying to manage.

Second, don’t even entertain the enemy’s invitation to compare yourself with other moms who may be feigning perfection on the outside but struggling just as much as you are on the inside.

You are beautiful, Mama, and you are living out one of your most highest callings with so much courage. Let’s look at another one of God’s many promises :::

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“I will never [under ANY circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor
leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless],
nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!”
Hebrews 13:5 (Verse in Bible Hub)

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As parents, we will not always get it right.

But our children don’t need us to be perfect. In fact, if we are striving for perfection, we will be especially hard on our loved ones as well. And our children, no matter what their age, really just long for our presence, our blessing, our guidance, our acceptance and our love.

And when (not ‘if’) we make a mistake, heartfelt repentance will go a lot further in our child’s heart than feigning perfection ever will.

[bctt tweet=”Our children long for our presence, blessing, acceptance and love. When we make mistakes, a heartfelt repentance will go a lot further in our child’s heart than feigning perfection ever will.” username=”https://twitter.com/Living_Loved_”]

Remember, we are not in this alone. Children belong to the Lord. We are joining God in His work, partnering with Him to steward the next generation.

He doesn’t expect us to figure everything out. He simply asks us to choose life always in all our decisions and be willing to follow Him.

When we yield our hearts and will to Him, He will guide us and never abandon us.

My two daughters are a beautiful gift from Heaven. And when I look into the sweet faces of my g-babies, I am so aware how close I came to making one decision that would have stopped the flow of life and love that God wanted to weave into my story. 

In closing … will you pray I will be able to locate a retired man by the name of Gene Hale, who was stationed at Fairchild AFB in Spokane, Washington during the 80’s. I have no doubt that God pre-planned for him to speak into my life right when I needed it. And I am forever grateful.

My Prayer 

Thank You Lord for Your incredible grace, which is new every morning. I am grateful for my mother who, although absent from my life, brought me into this world so I can now live for You. And for my hubby’s late mother, because without her I would not have this wonderful man in my life.

Thank You for BOTH of our precious daughters, who we love with all our hearts and can’t imagine doing life without. For all three of our g-babies, who we are crazy in love with. For all the mothers that You carry everyday. Women filled with courage even when they don’t know what the next day will bring. Strengthen them. Encourage them. Bless them Lord.

Lifting up to You right now the unborn generation, who may seem voiceless to us now but were never voiceless to you, Lord. Daddy God, You see them and You hear them. You know them by name and they know You. One day we will all hear them singing Your love and praises. I pray this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Let this be recorded for future generations,
that a people not yet born will praise the Lord.
Psalm 102:18 (Verse on Bible Hub)

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Happy Mother’s Day with much Love,

❤

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